3.13. A Confession

Roisin –


Tony was enchanting. Perhaps it was out of vulnerability that I fell for him. Getting out of a divorce was not as easy as I presumed to be. And Dan was not letting me see my children as much as I wished. So I called Tony. He always get things done. Subconsciously he became someone I could trust.

At that moment, I thought he was my prince. He was everything I wished for. He had me weak on my knees. A rather silly feeling honestly.


And there was no other motive getting close to him. I just wanted love. It was very unlike those times with Dan…


I admit I was drawn to Dan for his money. At that time it was what I was in a dire need of. Somehow he became a pawn for my revenge.


I didn’t know about my feelings back then. And I always thought he was after a trophy wife too. I didn’t have time to care either. I was in a bad place after dropping out of college and I needed him to ascend into society. Whatever the cost.


Looking back, there were indeed tender moments. Moments that showed he truly cared about me as a person, and not a trophy wife. On hindsight, I might be too blinded by my schemes to notice that.



After the divorce, I realized I might have feelings for Dan after all. But it was a pity those feelings came too late.


As for Tony, I didn’t regret that night. It had been too long that I had last experienced passion. And to be honest, he was a great lover. I never felt such fieriness in me before.


I thought of cutting him out totally. I had no time for love. I needed to cement my position in High Society. Status. That was what I’m after. Being invincible was great. Having people grovelling at my feet was great. I was determined to achieve that.


However, I was all alone when I experienced severe contractions. Truthfully, I didn’t let anyone close to me for fear of scandal erupting. But it was awful to be alone. And it was when I realised I needed someone by my side. Someone there for me. I felt so alone. Alone, helpless… I really hated that feeling.

It was when I decided to pick up the phone and call Tony. Admittedly I was going against my pride, but whatever. I hated being alone. And I wanted Tony in my life.



It was a clandestine rendezvous. I didn’t know why but I didn’t want people finding out. Which meant there were so much sneaking around…


And dim, shady places. But we didn’t care. I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with him.


I never experienced love like this before.


He was irresistible. We could talk about mundane things one moment and be all over each other the next.



He was a marvellous lover. And for once, I thought I had fallen in love.


However, it was ephemeral, like all good times. Months later, Tony left a letter by my bedside one day, saying he had to leave. Honestly, I did feel a little sad, but somehow it was as if I had anticipated it all along. Love is dead. I didn’t believe love to last forever.


But I was glad I got to enjoy it while it lasts…

And I had someone to remind me of him.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s